Hi , looks like i’m back at blogging for now . Haha . I won’t know when is my next post .

Well its september now , and what happened last year , yeap i miscarrige . But alhamdullillah, this september i’m 3 months pregnant . Allah definitely knows best . I didn’t know i was late until i have to update something on my app , to know that i’m 8 days late . Without putting hope or what so ever , i just wait for another week until i checked . And that two line makes me tear . Was using a different test kit that naz don’t even know what it is . So theres no reaction there . But truthfully i’m scared . I’m scared of my baby’s well being , if he/she okay . Because of that miscarriage, i’m a little traumatised. 

To be honest , this pregnancy brings out the worst in me . I get agitated, angry over a pity things . I get so tired , easily breathless . I don’t know if that hospitalisation leave actually helps . I feel like i’m depressed. Like i don’t talk to anyone . Just being on my own . Deep in my thoughts , sorrow . Maybe i’m just overthinking things , i just need attention/affection . After what happened some days back , i guess i tried controlling my mood , be more positive. I hope it continues . I want to save my baby , i want uwais to have sibling . I can see how much he love babies . Oh and one thing to add lucky me , i have to morning sickness . But my taste buds is the worst . I don’t like thai food as much or nasi ayam penyet . Like nooooo . Looks like fish soup from heavenly wang is my favourite now . 

Insyaallah my next post will be about me updating about my second pregnancy .